PRIVILEGES OF HIGH RANK

Railway Gatesman. "It's agin the rules, my lady, openin' o' the gate like this; but it ain't for the likes o' me to keep yer ladyship a waitin'."

Noble Countess. "Why is it against the rules, my good man?"

Railway Gatesman. "Well, my lady, the 5.17 down express has been doo these ten minutes!"

"THE NEWS"

Season-Ticket Holder (airily). "'Morning, station-master. Anything fresh?"

Station-Master ("bit of a wag"). "N-no, sir, not that I've—— ah!—yes—now I think of it, sir—that's fresh paint you're leaning agai——!"