A DILEMMA
Station-Master. "Now then! Look alive with they dougs! Where are you——"
Overdriven Porter. "Hoots! they've a' eaten their tuck'ts, an' dinna ken fa the're gaen tae!"
RISKS
Shrewd Clerk (with an eye to his percentage). "Take an accident insurance ticket, sir?"
Passenger (nervously). "Wha' for?!"
Clerk. "Well, sir, nothing has gone wrong 'twixt this and London for the last fourteen months; and, by the haverages, the next smash on the hup line is hoverdue exactly six weeks and three days!!"