THE UNCO’ GUID
Scrupulous Waiter. “A what? A sangwitch! Na, na! I’ll gie ye breed an’ cheese, an’ as much whusky as ye can drink; but, tae mak’ sangwidges on the Saubberth day!”——
SKETCHED AT ISLINGTON
Purchaser. “K-a-t-l is no the way to spell ‘cattle.’”
Drover (writing the receipt). “Naebody could spell wi’ this pen. There’s been owre mony drucken bodies usin’ it!”
Southerner (in Glasgow, to Friend). “By the way, do you know McScrew?”