RESIGNATION

He (Third-Class). “Come awa’! D’ye no see that’s a first-class?”

She (ditto). “Aweel, on a busy day like this, we maun just put up wi’ ony accommodation we can get!!”

DESECRATION.

English Angler (on Saturday evening). “Anybody ever fish up here on a Sunday, m’um?”

Scots Landlady (in consternation). “Hech, mon! ye’d be jail’t!!”