9:30. Took twelve globules more and retired to rest; very tired; slept very profoundly until 1 a.m., then could not sleep. My back, in the lumbar muscles, ached so and my left leg that I could not sleep for hours, and my brain felt as if scalded; an intense burning feeling in the meninges, for this did not affect my power to think. This hot feeling commenced and spread down my back. An intense pain over left eyebrow, through my left eye to base of brain and down my back. The pain in the back of my head caused me to bore my head deep into my pillow, and reminded me of cases I have seen of cerebro-spinal meningitis. An intense weakness, as if I had no power to move, and no wish to do so, and yet I was afraid I could not attend to my business. Yet, strange to say, I was not alarmed, but passively indifferent. I could not open my eyes without great effort; it was hard work to keep them open and the easiest thing for them to close, as if there were a great weight upon them, keeping them down. I begged to be allowed to remain in bed until some one wanted me professionally, and yet I could not thus give way to my feelings, and so got up.
7 a.m. Feeling very weak and giddy. Staggering about my bedroom trying to dress. It was all that I could do to lift a hod of coal to the stove. The pains in my head and lumbar muscles, back of my head near atlas and middle third of left thigh and right elbow are the most noticeable from the great pains; and arctic coldness in my feet and hands and arms; have had a transient feeling of pain in the little finger and little toe of right side. Very feverish or parched in the night, and my breathing was hard and sounded as if I was drawing my breath through iron pipes. I feel that I must not take any more medicine at present. When I remember what a long time I was in getting to the end of the previous proving, I feel that I dare not go any further.
The dose I have been taking, a No. 35 globule, is as large as ten such as is ordinarily used for the 30th or for high dilutions, so that I have taken as good as sixty high dilution globules as a dose, and lately as high as one hundred and twenty-four and sometimes oftener daily.
I was surprised at these hot flushes and burnings in my head and along my spine. And these strongly reminded me of some feeling a proving of Gelsemium caused, only that has sweat, whilst this has no moisture, everything being dried up. Saliva, tears, nostrils, and earwax; the great weakness and pain in the body reminds me of cerebro-spinal meningitis.
My pulse rate is 68. 8:15. Temperature, 97 only.
1 p.m. What fearful aching in my body! Arctic feeling throughout my body, except my head and face, and oh! so tired. A feeling as if it were almost impossible to keep my eyes open. While out on my professional rounds a feeling came over me as if it would be far easier to lie down in the snowy streets than to keep trying to get along. The trembling is very persistent.
9 p.m. Oh! this bad feeling in my head, the aching, aching in my bones, in every part of my body, head to feet; no part entirely free from pain, my body so cold; a feeling as if I had holes in my garments, and cold, frosty winds were blowing through and freezing my flesh; cold penis and testicles, no feeling but coldness. A slight gluey discharge; a fluent discharge from nose, with great sneezing. * * *
January 9th, 8 a.m. Pulse rate 68; is not so full or jerky, but it is some. Temperature under the tip of the tongue, 96; deeper in, 97. This morning awoke at 3 a.m. and got up to urinate, but I could not stand without I had hold of something. Oh, such a weak, giddy feeling! I never fainted but once, from loss of blood, and these sensations are similar. Plenty of strength to hold me up, but unable to balance myself, and when I put forth an effort I staggered about like a man trying to walk with paralysis or locomotor ataxy. This idea was the most prominent in my mind, but I have a patient recovering from paralysis who has to swing his body as he walks, to get his feet forward, and is very weak and shaky about his knees, and these sensations very strongly reminded me of his efforts. His weakness is in his knees, but mine was from the base of my skull—cerebrum—where the pains have been so persistent near the atlas extending downward. When I arose, at 7 a.m., it was very hard work for me to balance myself enough to complete dressing myself, and very hard work to carry my head. If I bent forward, then it required great effort to keep from falling on my face or backward. This lack of balancing power was accompanied by a sensation of nausea, as if I were going to vomit. I persisted in my efforts to work, in hopes of shaking off these very alarming sensations, and by effort got through my morning work. Whilst shaving a severe jerk of my right arm caused me to gash my face; very strange, but I ought not to have tried to do this. I have now some numbness in my right hand and arm, and a good deal of trembling. Arctic feeling in my feet and in various parts of my body. This feeling of want of balancing power does not entirely leave me; a full, pressing feeling in all parts of my head. And when I walk I notice I lift my feet higher than usual, or than is necessary, and I put my heel down hard, as if I was not sure of holding on to the ground. I notice some twitching, as if my feet would spring up, making me walk as if I had the cock's gait, as it is described. * * *
7 a.m., January 10, 1893. Thank God I began this day with more comfort and more control of myself; my limbs are easier to manage; a little giddiness and staggering, and stiff, bruised sensation in my back and lower limbs. My cervical vertebra is less sore and have little pain; and altogether feel very much better. My pulse rate is 80 this a.m.; full and round; no jerks perceptible. Temperature 98 under the tongue, by the root. Mercury very slow in rising; had to keep the thermometer in a long time. I have a flushed, hot feeling in my face and head; no trembling, less staggering, and can manage my limbs fairly well. I feel as I dared not trifle with myself any further, for I am very weak. A very little exertion would make me feel very ill. I am feeling like a man who had just come from under a deadly risk; am very weak and prostrated, with every nerve on the jump. Oh, so very weak! A sinking feeling. A parched thirstiness in my throat and mouth. My tongue is clean; bowels regular; a good deal of flatus, very fetid; pale yellow, greenish urine (specific gravity 1008), smelling very fetid; same smell as the flatus; more like the smell of rotting sweet fruit or vegetables. * * *
January 14, 1893. Could not get out of bed at my usual time; very severe pain in head and back of neck, going down my back and right leg; twitches, with cold, stinging, ice-needle pricks. My right hand is feeling as if it were frozen. Pulse rate 64; full, round, but appears to have a pendulum motion or twitch. Temperature 96 3-5. Mind clear, but very weak in my body, and I can not get warm over a hot register or with hot fluids. This constant arctic cold is very hard to bear and makes me this morning feel as if I had a cake of ice on my back. My hands are blue with cold and my feet feel like lumps of ice. Headache and giddiness; could not keep from trembling while some patients were in my consulting room, and had a good deal of difficulty in steadying and controlling my voice; when excited could not get hold of the right words I wanted and dropped some when speaking, from a want of flexibility or a catch in my tongue. Pains in various parts of my body; the same locations and character. Quite a rush of business to-day and very ill-fitted to attend to it. My hands and feet blue and aching with cold, even while I was sitting over a hot register that scorched my boot leather, yet no feeling of warmth in hands or feet. A good deal of throbbing and aching in the upper part of my kidneys, the right one the sorest. Sharp pains in my bowels, near the cæcum; some trembling (when asleep it awoke me) in my right arm and left leg, with a sharp pain near the ankle joint. * * *