Simeon [indignantly].
Abandoned poet!
Chiffin [indignantly].
I'm no such thing! An honest ballad, sir,
No poetry at all.
The Player.
Good, sell thy wares.
Chiffin.
"A Ballad of a Virtuous Country-Maid
Forswears the Follies of the Flaunting Town"—
And tends her geese all day, and weds a vicar.
Simeon.
A godlier tale, in sooth. But speak, my man;
If she be virtuous, and the tale a true one,
Can she not do't in prose?
The Player. Beseech her, man.
'Tis scandal she should use a measure so.
For no more sin than dealing out false measure
Was Dame Sapphira slain.
Simeon. You are with me, sir;
Although methinks you do mistake the sense
O' that you have read.... This jigging, jog-trot rime,
This ring-me-round, debaseth mind and matter,
To make the reason giddy—
Chiffin [to The Player].
Ballad, sir?
"Hear All!" A fine brave ballad of a Fish
Just caught off Dover; nay, a one-eyed fish,
With teeth in double rows.
The Player. Nay, nay, go to.
Chiffin.
"My Fortune's Folly," then; or "The True Tale
Of an Angry Gull;" or "Cherries Like Me Best."
"Black Sheep, or How a Cut-Purse Robbed His Mother;"
"The Prentice and the Dell!"... "Plays Play not Fair,"
Or how a gentlewoman's heart was took
By a player that was king in a stage-play....
"The Merry Salutation," "How a Spark
Would Woo a Tanner's Wife!" "The Direful Fish"—
Cock's passion, sir! not buy a cleanly ballad
Of the great fish, late ta'en off Dover coast,
Having two heads and teeth in double rows....
Salt fish catched in fresh water?...
'Od's my life!
What if or salt or fresh? A prodigy!
A ballad like "Hear All!" And me and mine,
Five children and a wife would bait the devil,
May lap the water out o' Lambeth Marsh
Before he'll buy a ballad. My poor wife,
That lies a-weeping for a tansy-cake!
Body o' me, shall I scent ale again?