And this might have an effect unsuspected by those whom such a prospect of liberty would most alarm to-day. When a moment’s rashness does not necessarily imply red ruin and the breaking up of homes, when sex is freed to a degree from the sense of overwhelming social consequences, it may well become a matter of more profound personal consequence; and with nothing to fear except the spoiling of their friendship, men and women in an ardent friendship may yet prefer talk to kisses.
“But what if they don’t?” A complete answer to that question, from the Utopian point of view, would take us far afield from the subject of friendship; yet some further answer may seem to be required, if only by way of confessing to Mrs. Grundy that the problem is not so simple as it may seem. Well, then, out of many possibilities which the future holds, I offer this one for what it may be worth. Such friendships, let us agree, tend to merge insensibly into romantic sexual love. But if marriage may be conceived as yielding some of its traditional rights, extra-marital romance may well be called upon for similar concessions. The first thing that extra-marital romance might be asked to surrender would be its intolerable and fatuous airs of holiness. Yes, “holiness” is the word—a holiness all the more asserted by such extra-marital lovers because their relations are likely to be taken disrespectfully by a stupid world. Oh, unquestionably, if you ask them, never was any legal and conventional love so high and holy as this romantic passion of theirs! Its transcendental holiness calls for sacrifices. So they sacrifice themselves—and, incidentally, others—to it. Anything less, they feel, would be cowardly. They must not palter with these sacred emotions—not even by the exercise of their dormant sense of humor!—So it is to-day: but perhaps in a future where extra-marital romance is made room for with a tender and humorous courtesy, it may give up these preposterous and solemn airs, and actually learn to smile at its illusions—illusions which will still give the zest of ultimate danger to relationships of merely happy and light-hearted play. Thus life will continue to be interesting.
As for the talk of friendship, my Utopian speculations uncover for me no respect in which the thing itself can be improved upon. The circumstances can be made happier, the attitude of society can foster it; but the talk of friendship has already reached a splendid perfection beyond which my imagination is unable to soar. At its best it has, despite its personal aspect, an impersonal beauty; it is a poignant fulfillment of those profound impulses which we call curiosity and candor; it serves human needs as deep as those which poetry and music serve, and is in some sense an art like them. The art exists, and it remains only for the future to give it an adequate hospitality.
Love and Marriage
By Ludwig Lewisohn
Ludwig Lewisohn
author of “Up Stream,” “Don Juan” and other books and contributing editor of The Nation, is now studying conditions in Eastern Europe and Palestine. Was born May 30th, 1882, in Berlin—came to America in 1890—B.A. and M.A. College of Charleston, S. C., 1901—M. A. Columbia, 1903—Editorial staff, Doubleday, Page & Co., 1910-1911. Instructor in German, University of Wisconsin, and Literature at Ohio State University. Dramatic Editor, Nation, 1919. Author of “The Broken Snare,” 1908;—“A Night in Alexandria,” 1909; “German Style—an Introduction to the Study of German Prose,”—1910; “The Modern Drama,” 1915; “The Spirit of Modern German Literature,” 1916; “The Poets of Modern France,” 1918; Editor with W. P. Trent of “Letters of an American Farmer,” 1909; “A Book of Modern Criticism,” 1909. Translator—Feuchlersleben’s “Health & Suggestion,” 1910; Sudermann’s “Judean City,” 1911; Halbe’s “Youth,” Hirschfeld’s “The Mothers,” 1916; Latzko’s “The Judgment of Peace,” 1919; Wassermann’s “World’s Illusion.” Editor and chief translator of Gerhardt Hauptmann’s Dramatic Works, 1916, 1917; Contributing Editor, Warner’s Library of World’s Best Literature. His latest book is “The Creative Life,” 1924.
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
BY LUDWIG LEWISOHN
Utopia is the loveliest of all countries; it is also the farthest away. One may make magnificent generalizations concerning the future of the relations of the sexes; one may set down truths that are theoretically unanswerable. Only one will change nothing, help not a single soul. Let me cling to a few humble facts....