The great trouble is the lack of confidence in married life; as it is a very rare thing to find a wife who can trust her husband not to divorce her, if it appear convenient and desirable, or not to add to his wives if he be able.
Divorce, which a woman may obtain under certain rare conditions, is a man's right without restriction. A woman's only protection is, her dowry must be paid her, and her husband must pronounce the sentence of divorce three times. Thus a little check is put on an angry impulse. Age, poor health, loss of beauty or eyesight, lack of children, especially of sons, or the merest whim, may be the excuse for it. The most pathetic appeals are made to the lady doctor, by women in dread of divorce.
A wealthy nobleman, married to a young and beautiful lady of equal rank, the mother of both sons and daughters, and as reported, with a fair amount of wedded happiness, was dazzled by a proposed alliance with a princess of such rank as to brook no rival. The indispensable condition was a divorce, and absolute separation from the wife he had. She knew nothing of her fate till one day, when visiting at her brother's, word was brought her she need not return home. That night the wedding was celebrated with firing of cannon and great festivities, but the children were crying for their mother, and for her and them there was no redress. She immediately went on pilgrimage to a holy shrine, to pray that her husband and his new wife might be cursed of God. The man met with some very signal and public reverses, and transported with joy, she flew to another sacred place, to call down more misfortunes on his head.
Many of the divorced women remarry; others become beggars or maid-servants. As for the children, if the family be wealthy, they remain with the father; if poor, in case both parents find other partners, they are often cast adrift to shift for themselves.
On a journey, the wife of the muleteer was seen to be laying aside part of the tea, sugar, etc., purchased by the man for their joint use, and was asked the cause. She replied, "It is necessary to make some provision for myself against the day when he shall divorce me; I have had six husbands and he has had seven wives; what can I expect?" The couple had been newly married, and this was their wedding trip.
A sad-faced drudge in our lodging place told us, "I am the twenty-fifth wife, some are divorced, some dead; to-morrow it may be my turn to go."
Polygamy is prevalent among the rich who can afford it, and is regarded by many as highly meritorious. Some of the poor also practise it, but most of them have but one wife at a time, and are comparatively faithful to her. The percentage of men who live in polygamy is difficult to arrive at, but a good judge has estimated it at thirty per cent. The best men seem to be ashamed and to deprecate it. Some say it is forbidden in the Koran, by the verse which allows only as many wives as a man can treat with equity; as they say this is an impossibility, if a man has more than one consort, to treat them alike. When asked about the example of the Prophet, and the holy men, especially the Imams, they say, as for Mohammed, he was allowed peculiar privileges, not granted to other men. Some who consider the Imams sinless, explain their conduct in the same way. Those who do not accept this solution say the Imams did wrong in having a plurality of wives. When asked about the Shah, they reply he does wrong in practising polygamy, but it is permitted to him because he has the power in his hands.
No Moslem woman is supposed to have any right to require or expect that her husband will be true to her in the marriage relation, though fidelity to him is rigorously exacted of her, and her breach of it is punishable with death.
There may be instances where the women of a polygamous household agree; the casual stranger, who visits a harem without any knowledge of the language, or personal acquaintance with the inmates, will often be assured that they love each other fondly, and are more than sisters in friendship; but the trusted family friend, or the lady doctor, can tell a very different tale.
Our doctor told me once, she thought the two women of a certain house, were an exception to the general rule, and that they really were friends; but soon after, the older one being sick, she saw a good deal of her in private, and was obliged sadly to confess she had been mistaken.