Lord John Manners. Will not the ladies be afeard of the tea tax?
Sir R. Cross. I fear it, I promise you.
Northcote. Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves. To bring in—God shield us!—a tea tax among ladies, is a dreadful thing, for there is not a more fearful wild fowl living than your tea tax, and we ought to look to it.
Lord John Manners. Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a tax.
Northcote. Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen in the teapot, and he himself must speak, saying thus, or to the same defect: “Ladies, or fair ladies, I would wish you, or I would request you, or I would entreat you, not to fear, not to tremble. If you think I have come hither as a tax, it were pity of my life; no, I am no such thing; I am an indirect impost, as others are”—and there, indeed, let him name his name, and tell them plainly he is Hicks-Beach, the member for Gloucestershire.
Salisbury. Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things; that is to bring Coercion into Ireland.
Hicks-Beach. Have we a majority that night we play our play?
Salisbury. ’Tis doubtful. One must come in with a rifle and a Bobby’s lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of Coercion. Then there is another thing; we must have a Protection Bill in the great Chamber.
Hicks-Beach. You can never bring in Protection What say you, Northcote?
Northcote. Some man or other—Lowther, say—must present Protection; and let him have some false statistics to signify its benefits. Or let him hold his finger to his nose, and through that sign let “buncombe” thus be known.