Where Pompey’s strong arms are oppressed with Pekoe,

And the air waxes faint with the scent of the sloe;

Where malice produces its bitterest fruit,

And the voice of detraction can never be mute;

Where the tints of the story, the shades of the lie

In number though varied, in falsehood may vie,

And the venom of scandal is deepest in dye;

Where virgins of fifty strange ringlets entwine,

In the fond misconception of looking divine?

’Tis the land of the teapot, the realm of the tray.