For “attendance” as much as a lawyer’s you pay,

And find even then there’s an extra for “Boots.”

Nor the porters in asking for liquids are mutes;

Where your “bottle of sherry” (Cape under disguise,)

Scarce equals the vinegar-cruet in size,

And analysation completely defies;

Where the sofas are soft as yourself if you dine

At eight shillings a head—perchance even nine,

With the heaviest price for the lightest of wine?—

’Tis the English Hotel: and ’tis twenty to one