I resemble poor little Jack Horner,

Except that the pie is non est.

Yet I fain would be awfully jolly,

I fain would be gay if I might;

I am ready for frolic and folly—

Oh, let me be comic to-night.

I was grieved when my opulent uncle

Was taken so terribly ill.

’Tis a fearful affair, a carbuncle,

And baffles all medical skill.