(By that old gal I’m much esteemed,

Ez she hez often hinted).

Oh, if I had that critter neow,

You bet your boots I’d larn him

In mighty lively fashion heow

To walk the chalk, gol darn him!

Meanwhile, between his folks an’ mine

The breach grows wide an’ wider,

And, by the way, it’s my design

To give up drinkin’ cider.