The different doom our fates assign;
Be thine contempt and big-wigged care,
To triumph and to die are mine.”
He spoke, and headlong from the window’s height
Deep in a dung-cart near, he plung’d to endless night.
“This Society is now happily restored, and is supported by men of every standing. The Debates, however, are restricted to events previous to 1800: and no new subject is allowed to be introduced after 10 o’clock.” So says the “Gradus ad Cantabrigiam, or New University Guide to the Academical Customs, and Colloquial or Cant terms peculiar to the University of Cambridge,” written by a Brace of Cantabs, and published by John Hearne, London, 1824. The parody is taken from that amusing volume, it may also be found in Facetiæ Cantabrigiensis (London: Charles Mason, 1836), an anonymous collection of anecdotes and smart sayings written by, or relating to, celebrated Cantabs.
The Barber.
The following imitation of “The Bard” is ascribed to the Hon. Thomas Erskine (afterwards Lord Erskine) who wrote it when a student at Trinity College, Cambridge. Having been disappointed of the attendance of his college-barber, at his lodgings over the shop of Mr. Jackson, an apothecary, he was compelled to forego his commons in hall. Determined to have his revenge, and to give his hairdresser a good dressing he composed the following “Fragment of a Pindaric Ode” wherein he poured forth his curses upon the whole race of barbers, predicting their ruin in the simplicity of style to be adopted by a future generation. The exact date of the parody is not known, part of it is quoted in the Gradus ad Cantabrigiam, which was published in 1824, it is also given in full in Oxford and Cambridge Nuts to Crack. A. H. Baily & Co., 1835. London.
“Ruin seize thee, scoundrel Coe!