O Leicestershire, these are the farms

I dreamt would have shown me the pace

That kills, with a scent! ’Tis the scent

Of the drains in this horrible place.

If fiends who have robbed me of sport

Should “wire,” to upset me still more,

Some fabulous weather report,

That somewhere they’ve heard of a thaw,

I’d saddle a reindeer or elk,

And sleigh myself down to the meet