——:o:——
HOW THEY’LL OPEN THE INVENTORIES.
Massed Steel Band,
Composed of Eminent Surgeons, playing on their Surgical Instruments.
Tune—“The Savile Row Lancers.”
Specimens of Agricultural Implements, marshalled by a Steam Drill Master.
Steam Ploughs and their Chères, arm in arm.
Thrashing Machines following in the beaten track.
A detachment of Devonshire Hinds (hinder part before).
Delegates from the National Agricultural Labourers’ Union, bearing their own Triumphal “Arch.” Band, playing “The Cameras are coming.”
Photographic Apparatus, focussing and swearing.
Miss Mary Anderson, drawn in a brightly-coloured “carte”
Two Negatives making a Positive.
Two Positivists taking a Negative.
A Photographic Sportsman taking a Fence.
Band, playing “The Harp that once through Tara’s Halls,” and the Tune the old cow died of.
Cue-rious Instruments, headed by two “Jiggers.”
“P-an’-O” Boats, with sales set on the Three Years’ Hire System.
The first pair of “Lyres” ever discovered.
A Predatory Brass Band, playing “Band-ditties.”
Sample of the “Horns” originally exalted in the East.
“Cavendish,” playing “The Last Trump.”
Deputation from the “Portland,” playing little Clubs.
Mr. Charles Warner, singing his “Last Chaunts.”
Gold Band, playing “All round my hat.”
Novel Inventions three abreast.
Miss Braddon and “Ouida” inventing plots.
Padding.
Dramatists inventing Situations.
More Padding.
Hydraulic Presses collecting Water Rates.
Captive Balloonatics (with their Keepers).
Armour-plated “Monitors.” Lent by the King’s College School authorities.
Fountains, playing Handel’s “Water Music.”
A Thames Angler, playing a Fish.
Band of Swindlers, playing False Cards.
Diplomatic Inventions à la Russe.
The latest thing in Despatches Invented by General Komaroff.
Band of Diplomatists, playing the Fool.
Funny Folks, May, 1885.
——:o:——
THE LORD MAYOR’S SHOW, 1885.
The following programme originally appeared in The Sporting Times, November 7, 1885. It has been found necessary to abbreviate it, partly because it was too long, and partly because it was too broad.
Next Monday this time-honoured procession will once more perambulate the streets, squares, ponds, reservoirs, and bars of the metropolis. Every one being sick of the Guildhall, it will this year start from Bow Street, passing by the stage-door of the Gaiety Theatre, proceeding through the Gaiety grill room, into Prosser’s Avenue. The procession will then proceed vià Drury Lane Theatre to the Royal, returning by Rules’ in Maiden Lane, down to Romano’s. Thence, if not interfered with by the police, and still sufficiently sober to proceed, it will march to the Criterion, en route for Hatchett’s. After that its course is a trifle uncertain. The order of the procession will be as follows:—
POLICE UNARMED WITH REVOLVERS.
Burglars Beating Police.
Police Armed with Revolvers.
Ambulance Waggons
Containing
Respectable Citizens shot down as Burglars.
BANNER OF THE WORSHIPFUL COMPANY OF LUMBERERS.
Banner of the Banner of the
Punching Machine. Lord Chief Justice.
The Lumberer’s Band.