Philosophy cannot be taught, unless you can meet with a teacher:

I am the teacher of this the nineteenth century of being.

Philosophy I can expound in a way hitherto undream’d of;

Witness my book of Proverbial Platitudes, and its Editions;

Book beloved by women—women of intellect feeble;

Book that is lauded by old maids, and Evangelical parsons;

Book that by school-girls is worshipped, and ranked with The Pilgrim’s Progress;

That is read by bachelor curates, to maidens at Dorcas meetings;

Designing curates, who choose the chapters on “Love” and “Marriage,”

And read the soft nothings therein, with smirks and murderous gusto.