I write not as one with no knowledge,
Unaware of your weird, wily ways,
For you’ve often inquired my college,
And fined me on subsequent days.
Oft stopped, I have stuffed you with stories,
When wandering wildly from wines;
Pawned property, Procuratores,
To find you your fines.
E. B. Iwan-Müller.
This parody originally appeared, anonymously, in “The Shotover Papers, or, Echoes from Oxford.” 1874.