To Monongahela, with fifes and with drums,
We marched in fine order, with cannon and bombs;
That great expedition cost infinite sums,
But a few irregulars cut us all into crumbs.
It was not fair to shoot at us from behind trees,
If they had stood open, as they ought, before our great guns, we should have beat them with ease,
They may fight with one another that way if they please,
But it is not regular to stand, and fight with such rascals as these.
At Fort George and Oswego, to our great reputation,
We show'd our vast skill in fortification;
The French fired three guns;—of the fourth they had no occasion;
For we gave up those forts, not through fear, but mere persuasion.
To Ticonderoga we went in a passion,
Swearing to be revenged on the whole French nation;
But we soon turned tail, without hesitation,
Because they fought behind trees, which is not the regular fashion.
Lord Loudon, he was a regular general, they say;
With a great regular army he went on his way,
Against Louisburg, to make it his prey,
But returned—without seeing it,—for he didn't feel bold that day.
Grown proud at reviews, great George had no rest,
Each grandsire, he had heard, a rebellion suppressed,
He wish'd a rebellion, looked round and saw none,
So resolved a rebellion to make—of his own.
The Yankees he bravely pitched on, because he thought they wouldn't fight,
And so he sent us over to take away their right;
But lest they should spoil our review clothes, he cried braver and louder,
For God's sake, brother kings, don't sell the cowards any powder.
Our general with his council of war did advise
How at Lexington we might the Yankees surprise;
We march'd—and re-marched—all surprised—at being beat;
And so our wise general's plan of surprise—was complete.
For fifteen miles, they follow'd and pelted us, we scarce had time to pull a trigger;
But did you ever know a retreat performed with more vigor?
For we did it in two hours, which saved us from perdition;
'Twas not in going out, but in returning, consisted our EXPEDITION.
Says our general, "We were forced to take to our arms in our defence
(For arms read legs, and it will be both truth and sense),
Lord Percy (says he), I must say something of him in civility,
And that is—'I can never enough praise him for his great—agility.'"