Wit. There, go to! Lo! now for the best game!
While I take my ease, your tongues now frame!
Hon. Rec. Yea, Wit! by your faith, is that your fashion?
Will ye leave me, Honest Recreation,
For that common strumpet, Idleness,
The very root of all viciousness?
Wit. She saith she is as honest as ye.
Declare yourselves both now as ye be!
Hon. Rec. What would ye more for my declaration
Than even my name, Honest Recreation?
And what would ye more her to express
Than even her name, too, Idleness—
Destruction of all that with her tarry?
Wherefore come away, Wit! she will mar ye!
Idle. Will I mar him, drab? thou callet, thou!
When thou hast marred him already now?
Callest thou thyself Honest Recreation,
Ordering a poor man after this fashion,
To lame him thus, and make his limbs fail,
Even with the swinging there of thy tail?
The devil set fire on thee! for now must I,
Idleness, heal him again, I spy.
I must now lull him, rock him, and frame him
To his lust again, where thou didst lame him.
Am I the root, sayest thou, of viciousness?
Nay! thou art root of all vice, doubtless!
Thou art occasion, lo! of more evil
Than I, poor girl—nay, more than the devil!
The devil and his dam cannot devise
More devilishness than by thee doth rise!
Under the name of Honest Recreation,
She, lo! bringeth in her abomination!
Mark her dancing, her masking, and mumming—
Where more concupiscence than there coming?
Her carding, her dicing, daily and nightly—
Where find ye more falsehood than there? Not lightly!
With lying and swearing, by no poppets;
But tearing God in a thousand gobbets.
As for her singing, piping and fiddling—
What unthriftiness therein is twiddling!
Search the taverns and ye shall hear, clear,
Such bawdry as beasts would spue to hear.
And yet, this is called Honest Recreation!
And I, poor Idleness, abomination!
But which is worst of us twain, now judge, Wit!
Wit. By'r Lady! not thou! wench! I judge yet.
Hon. Rec. No? Is your judgment such then that ye
Can neither pe[r]ceive that beast, how she
Goeth about to deceive you, nor yet
Remember how I saved your life, Wit?
Think you her meet with me to compare
By whom so many wits cured are?
When will she do such an act as I did,
Saving your life when I you revived?
And, as I saved you, so save I all
That in like jeopardy chance to fall.
When Tediousness to ground hath smitten them,
Honest Recreation up doth quicken them
With such honest pastimes, sports or games,
As unto mine honest nature frames;
And not, as she saith, with pastimes such
As be abused little or much:
For, where honest pastimes be abused,
Honest Recreation is refused;
Honest Recreation is present never
But where honest pastimes be well used ever.
But, indeed, Idleness, she is cause
Of all such abuses; she, lo! draws
Her sort to abuse mine honest games;
And, thereby, full falsely my name defames.
Under the name of Honest Recreation
She bringeth in all her abomination,
Destroying all wits that her embrace,
As yourself shall see within short space.
She will bring you to shameful end, Wit,
Except the sooner from her ye flit.
Wherefore, come away, Wit, out of her paws!
Hence, drab! let him go out of thy claws!
Idle. Will ye get ye hence? or, by the mace!
These claws shall claw you by your drab's face!
Hon. Rec. Ye shall not need; since Wit lieth as one
That neither heareth nor seeth, I am gone. [Exeat.
Idle. Yea, so? farewell! And well fare thou, tongue!
Of a short peal, this peal was well rung,
To ring her hence, and him fast asleep,
As full of sloth as the knave can creep!
How, Wit! awake! How doth my baby?
Neque vox neque sensus, by'r Lady!
A meet man for Idleness, no doubt.
Hark, my pig! how the knave doth rout!
Well, while he sleepeth in Idleness' lap,
Idleness' mark on him shall I clap.
Some say that Idleness cannot wark;
But those that so say, now let them mark!
I trow they shall see that Idleness
Can set herself about some business;
Or, at the least, ye shall see her tried,
Neither idle, nor well occupied. [She marketh Wit.
Lo, sir! yet ye lack another toy!
Where is my whistle to call my boy?