Tamerlain, with Tartarian bow,
The Turkish squadrons slew;
And fetch'd the pagan crescent down, 105
With half-moon made of yew:
His trusty bow proud Turks did gall,
With showers of arrows thick,
And bow-strings, without strangling, sent
Grand Viziers to old Nick: 110
Much turbants, and much Pagan pates
He made to humble in dust;
And heads of Saracens he fixt
On spear, as on a sign-post:
He coop'd in cage Bajazet the prop 115
Of Mahomet's religion,
As if't been the whispering bird,
That prompted him; the pigeon.
In Turkey leather scabbard, he
Did sheathe his blade so trenchant: 120
But George he swinged the dragon's tail,
And cut off every inch on't.
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.
The amazon Thalestris was 125
Both beautiful, and bold;
She sear'd her breasts with iron hot,
And bang'd her foes with cold.
Her hand was like the tool, wherewith
Jove keeps proud mortals under: 130
It shone just like his lightning,
And batter'd like his thunder.
Her eye darts lightning, that would blast
The proudest he that swagger'd,
And melt the rapier of his soul, 135
In its corporeal scabbard.
Her beauty, and her drum to foes
Did cause amazement double;
As timorous larks amazed are
With light, and with a low-bell: 140
With beauty, and that lapland-charm,[442]
Poor men she did bewitch all;
Still a blind whining lover had,
As Pallas had her scrich-owl.
She kept the chastness of a nun 145
In armour, as in cloyster:
But George undid the dragon just
As you'd undo an oister.
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense. 150
Stout Hercules, was offspring of
Great Jove, and fair Alcmene:
One part of him celestial was,
One part of him terrene.
To scale the hero's cradle walls 155
Two fiery snakes combin'd,
And, curling into swaddling cloaths,
About the infant twin'd:
But he put out these dragons' fires,
And did their hissing stop; 160
As red-hot iron with hissing noise
Is quencht in blacksmith's shop.
He cleans'd a stable, and rubb'd down
The horses of new-comers;
And out of horse-dung he rais'd fame, 165
As Tom Wrench[443] does cucumbers.
He made a river help him through;
Alpheus was under-groom;
The stream, disgust at office mean,
Ran murmuring thro' the room: 170
This liquid ostler to prevent
Being tired with that long work,
His father Neptune's trident took,
Instead of three-tooth'd dung-fork.
This Hercules, as soldier, and 175
As spinster, could take pains;
His club would sometimes spin ye flax,
And sometimes knock out brains:
H' was forc'd to spin his miss a shift
By Juno's wrath and hér-spite; 180
Fair Omphale whipt him to his wheel,
As cook whips barking turn-spit.
From man, or churn he well knew how
To get him lasting fame:
He'd pound a giant, till the blood, 185
And milk till butter came.
Often he fought with huge battoon,
And oftentimes he boxed;
Tapt a fresh monster once a month,
As Hervey[444] doth fresh hogshead. 190
He gave Anteus such a hug,
As wrestlers give in Cornwall:
But George he did the dragon kill,
As dead as any door-nail.
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France; 195
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.
The Gemini, sprung from an egg,
Were put into a cradle:
Their brains with knocks and bottled ale,
Were often-times full addle: 200
And, scarcely hatch'd, these sons of him,
That hurls the bolt trisulcate,
With helmet-shell on tender head,
Did tustle with red-ey'd pole-cat.
Castor a horseman, Pollux tho' 205
A boxer was, I wist:
The one was fam'd for iron heel;
Th' other for leaden fist.
Pollux to shew he was god,
When he was in a passion 210
With fist made noses fall down flat
By way of adoration:
This fist, as sure as French disease,
Demolish'd noses' ridges:
He like a certain lord[445] was famd' 215
For breaking down of bridges.
Castor the flame of fiery steed,
With well-spur'd boots took down;
As men, with leathern buckets, quench
A fire in country town. 220
His famous horse, that liv'd on oats,
Is sung on oaten quill;
By bards' immortal provender
The nag surviveth still.
This shelly brood on none but knaves 225
Employ'd their brisk artillery:
And flew as naturally at rogues,
As eggs at thief in pillory.[446]
Much sweat they spent in furious fight,
Much blood they did effund: 230
Their whites they vented thro' the pores;
Their yolks thro' gaping wound:
Then both were cleans'd from blood and dust
To make a heavenly sign;
The lads were, like their armour, scowr'd, 235
And then hung up to shine;
Such were the heavenly double-Dicks,
The sons of Jove and Tyndar:
But George he cut the dragon up,
As he had bin duck or windar.[447] 240
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Gorgon a twisted adder wore
For knot upon her shoulder:
She kemb'd her hissing periwig, 245
And curling snakes did powder.
These snakes they made stiff changelings
Of all the folks they hist on;
They turned barbars into hones,
And masons into free-stone: 250
Sworded magnetic Amazon
Her shield to load-stone changes;
Then amorous sword by magic belt
Clung fast unto her haunches.
This shield long village did protect, 255
And kept the army from-town,
And chang'd the bullies into rocks,
That came t' invade Long-Compton.[448]
She post-diluvian stores unmans,
And Pyrrha's work unravels; 260
And stares Deucalion's hardy boys
Into their primitive pebbles.
Red noses she to rubies turns,
And noddles into bricks:
But George made dragon laxative; 265
And gave him a bloody flix.
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.
By boar-spear Meleager got,
An everlasting name, 270
And out of haunch of basted swine,
He hew'd eternal fame.
This beast each hero's trouzers ript,
And rudely shew'd his bare-breech,
Prickt but the wem, and out there came 275
Heroic guts and garbadge.
Legs were secur'd by iron boots
No more, than peas by peascods:
Brass helmets, with inclosed sculls,
Wou'd crackle in's mouth like chestnuts. 280
His tawny hairs erected were
By rage, that was resistless;
And wrath, instead of cobler's wax,
Did stiffen his rising bristles.
His tusk lay'd dogs so dead asleep, 285
Nor horn, nor whip cou'd wake 'um:
It made them vent both their last blood,
And their last album-grecum.
But the knight gor'd him with his spear,
To make of him a tame one, 290
And arrows thick, instead of cloves,
He stuck in monster's gammon.
For monumental pillar, that
His victory might be known,
He rais'd up, in cylindric form, 295
A collar of the brawn.
He sent his shade to shades below,
In Stygian mud to wallow:
And eke the stout St. George eftsoon,
He made the dragon follow. 300
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Achilles of old Chiron learnt
The great horse for to ride;
H' was taught by th' Centaur's rational part, 305
The hinnible to bestride.
Bright silver feet, and shining face
Had that stout hero's mother;
As rapier's silver'd at one end,
And wounds you at the other. 310
Her feet were bright, his feet were swift,
As hawk pursuing sparrow:
Her's had the metal, his the speed
Of Braburn's[449] silver arrow.
Thetis to double pedagogue 315
Commits her dearest boy;
Who bred him from a slender twig
To be the scourge of Troy:
But ere he lash't the Trojans, h' was
In Stygian waters steept; 320
As birch is soaked first in piss,
When boys are to be whipt.
With skin exceeding hard, he rose
From lake, so black and muddy,
As lobsters from the ocean rise, 325
With shell about their body:
And, as from lobster's broken claw,
Pick out the fish you might:
So might you from one unshell'd heel
Dig pieces of the knight. 330
His myrmidons robb'd Priam's barns
And hen-roosts, says the song;
Carried away both corn and eggs,
Like ants from whence they sprung.
Himself tore Hector's pantaloons, 335
And sent him down bare-breech'd
To pedant Radamanthus, in
A posture to be switch'd.
But George he made the dragon look,
As if he had been bewitch'd. 340
St. George he was for England; St. Dennis was for France;
Sing, Honi soit qui mal y pense.