Coo. Here! O, I come. [Exit.] A plague on it, I am in a pond, mistres!
Hod. [re-entering.] Ha, ha! I have led him into a pond.—Where art thou, Dick?
Coomes. [within.] Up to the middle in a pond! 125
Hod. Make a boate of thy buckler, then, and swim out. Are yee so hot, with a pox? would you kisse my mistresse? coole ye there, then, good Dick Coomes. O, when he comes forth, the skirts of his blew coate will dropp like a paint-house![1859] O, that I could see, and not be seene, how he would spaniell it, and shake himselfe when he comes out of the pond! But Ile be gone; for now heele fight with a flye, if he but buz[1860] in his eare. 132
Exit.
[Re]enter Coomes.
Coom. Heeres so hoing with a plague! so hang, and ye wil, for I have bin almost drownd. A pox of your lips,[1861] and ye call this kissing! Yee talke of a drownd rat, but twas time to swim like a dog; I had bin served like a drowned cat els. I would he had digd his grave that digd the pond! my feete were foule indeed, but a lesse pale then a pond would have served my turne to wash them. A man shall be served thus alwayes, when he followes any of these females; but tis my kinde heart that makes me thus forward in kindnes unto them: well, God amend them, and make them thankfull to them that would do them pleasure. I am not drunke, I would ye should[1862] know it; and yet I have drunke more then will do me good, for I might have had a pumpe set up with as[1863] good March beere as this was, and nere set up an alebush for the matter. Well, I am somewhat in wroth, I must needs say; and yet I am not more angrie then wise, nor more wise then angrie but Ile fight with the next man I meete, and it be but for luck sake; and if he love to see him selfe hurt, let him bring light with him; Ile do it by darkling els, by Gods dines. Well, heere will I walke, whoso ever sayes nay. 151
Enter Nicholas [with a torch].
Nic. He that worse may, must holde the candle; but my maister is not so wise as God might have made him. He is gone to seeke a hayre in a hennes nest, a needle in a bottle of haye, which is as sildome seene as a black swan: he is gone to seeke my yong mistresse; and I thinke she is better lost then found, for who so ever hath her, hath but a wet eele by the taile. But they may do as they list; the law is in their owne hands; but, and they would be ruld by me, they should set her on the leland,[1864] and bid the divell split her; beshrew her fingers, she hath made me watch past mine hower; but Ile watch her a good turne for it. 161
Coom. How, whose that? Nicholas!—So, first come, first servd; I am for him.—How now, proverbe, proverbe? sbloud, howe now, proverbe?