Sacred to the Memory of
HONOUR,
The beloved wife of John Bull.
She died in the Transvaal, and was
buried at Candahar, March, 1881.
Her end was PEACE.
A farmer called at a certain magistrate’s office to ask for a permit to move cattle. Whilst the permit was being written out the farmer sat down in the office and began to expectorate upon the floor. “Dirty beast!” muttered the official. “Nie, nie,” interposed the farmer, “nie, dertig beeste nie, maar twentig.” (No, no, not thirty cattle, only twenty.)
When Cecil Rhodes died there were some friends of Sir Abe Bailey who declared that the mantle of Rhodes had descended to Abe Bailey. About this time, Mr. Samuel Marks met Sir Abe Bailey and said to him: “What’s this I hear about you having taken over Rhodes’s mantle?” “Well,” replied Sir Abe, “they are good enough to say so.” “Take my advice, then,” replied Mr. Marks, “and leave it alone. I’ve dealt in old clothes myself, and know they don’t always fit.”
At Stellenbosch everybody sleeps in the afternoon. Many years ago a Stellenbosch burgher consulted his physician for insomnia. “At what hour of the night do you suffer most?” asked the doctor. “Oh, it is not in the night that I suffer,” was the reply. “I sleep well at night; but I sometimes find it difficult to get my full afternoon’s sleep.”
An amusing incident is related by Sir Henry Juta, K.C., arising out of the similarity of the Dutch word “keuken,” meaning kitchen, and the Afrikaans word “kuiken,” meaning chicken. Sir Henry and some other barristers were on circuit, and were dining at a Dutch farm house. The hostess apologised for the dinner not being all that it should have been owing to something having gone wrong with the culinary department. Sir Henry said to her:—“Het spijt mij, mevrouw, te hooren dat daar iets met de keuken makeert.” (“I am sorry to hear, madam, that there is something wrong with the ‘keuken’ (kitchen).” The lady folded her arms and drew herself up, and said, coldly:—“Nie, meneer Juta, met die kuikens makeer daar nix nie.” (“No, Mr. Juta, there is nothing wrong with the chickens.”) Apparently chickens formed part of the menu.