The mourning of a parent for a child, or a child for a parent, is the next degree and lasts for 12 months. For the first 3, paramatta, merino, coburg, woollen grenadine, or some similar material heavily trimmed with crape, usually in 2 deep tucks, is worn; for the next 3, silk mourning, with less crape, the latter arranged more ornamentally in plaits, folds, or bouillonnés, is admissible. The crape bonnet may have jet upon it, and the veil may be of net, with a deep crape hem. Linen collars and cuffs cannot be worn with crape. Crèpe lisse frills are de rigueur. Sable or any other coloured fur must be left off; plain, untrimmed sealskin is admissible, but it never looks well in really deep mourning. After 6 months, crape may be left off, and plain black, with jet ornaments and black gloves, worn for 2 months. For the next 2, black dresses, with gold or silver, pearl or diamond ornaments, and grey gloves, sewn with black. After this, half-mourning—such as black dresses with white flowers or lace; white dresses, with black ribbons; or grey dresses, trimmed with black.
There is a very prevalent notion that red is a sort of mourning, and that red flowers or ribbons may be worn with black for slight mourning; but it is not in good taste. Only jet ornaments are permissible with crape; neither gold, silver, nor precious stones can be worn with it, neither can lace be in any way intermingled with it. This is a fact which seems to be very imperfectly comprehended. Society must be relinquished for 2 months, and it is in far better taste to avoid balls so long as crape is worn. For grandparents, the mourning is now only 6 months, 2 in silk and slight crape, 2 in black, and 2 in half-mourning.
For brothers and sisters the mourning, is now usually 3-4 months. It is correct to wear crape tolerably deep for 2 months, and plain black for 2. For an uncle or aunt 6 weeks is the orthodox time, and crape is not required. Black is generally worn the whole time, for the first month with jet, afterwards with gold, silver, pearls or diamonds; no coloured stones. For a great uncle or aunt 5 weeks, 2 in black, 3 half-mourning. For a first cousin, a month, generally the whole time in black. It is not usual to wear mourning at all for a second cousin, but if done 3 weeks are sufficient. Relations by marriage are mourned for precisely in the same degree as real ones: thus a wife wears exactly the same mourning for her husband’s relations as she would for her own. There are, however, exceptions. For instance, a lady would mourn for her uncle by marriage for 6 weeks if his wife (her aunt) were alive; but if she were dead the mourning for the uncle might be curtailed to a month. A few remarks may be made on “complimentary mourning.” For instance, when a man has married a second time, his second wife must wear slight mourning for 3 months on the death of his first wife’s parents, and for 6 weeks on the death of her brothers or sisters, if any intimacy has been kept up. This is not de rigueur like real mourning for absolute relatives, but it is good taste, and usual in society. So also it is usual for a mother, whose married son or daughter loses a parent-in-law, to wear black—of course without crape—for one month, and half-mourning for another.
There are some additional points of etiquette connected with mourning. Black-edged envelopes and paper must be used. The width known as “extra broad” is the deepest that should ever be used, even by widows, the “double broad” being too much. Even for widows the simple “broad” is in better taste than either; “middle” is the proper width in mourning for parent or child; “narrow” for brothers or sisters; “Italian” for all other relatives. Visiting cards are only edged with black when crape is worn, so black-edged cards are not requisite for an uncle or aunt. The edges should be of the same width as that adopted for the paper. Cards returning thanks for the kind inquiries of those who have either called or sent to inquire, should not be sent out till the mourners feel equal to again receiving visitors; it is the accepted token of their being once more visible. Letters of condolence should be written on paper with a slight black edge, and offence should never be taken if they are left unanswered. Many people consider it correct to wear black on a first visit to a house of mourning, and though this is not absolutely necessary, it is certainly in better taste to avoid brilliant colours on such an occasion. (The Queen).
Travelling Dress.—(a) The fewer dresses to take for positive travelling, the better. A black silk, fashionably made, is almost indispensable. This should be accompanied by one or two stylish muslin fichus and lace collarettes to wear on any dress occasion, as it is tiresome not to be able to put in an appearance for lack of suitable attire. It is a good plan to have this silk made with a bodice separate from the skirt; and a white washing silk polonaise will be found very useful. For travelling nothing is so suitable as a light serge, and dark blue is the best colour. This should be made with a plain skirt and polonaise, and have a jacket also to wear when required; the plainer the better. Also take an alpaca costume, or one of a light woollen stuff, and 2 dark blue linen ones; these are cool if the weather prove hot. But to ensure real comfort in travelling, the point is not the quantity of dress nor the kinds, but to have them in working and wearable condition. They should be arranged to loop up when required, and to fit well, &c. Thick kid gloves, and gloves with gauntlets, are necessary; and a waterproof petticoat, and one or two others. Always carry a waterproof dress in your wraps; perhaps a good ulster would best replace it; there never was so comfortable a garment for travelling. Plenty of rugs, shawls, and, above all, a fur boa are desirable. Bonnets are not necessary, and a felt hat is the best, with a good supply of veils, a gauze one particularly. Thick boots are essential, and for climbing, the new Hygeia boots of Marshall’s are real comforts. All the dresses taken should be nearly if not quite new; travelling soon reduces a half-worn dress to shabbiness. Paper collars and cuffs are invaluable; they are as cheap as getting them washed, save an infinity of trouble, and are sold in compact boxes taking little room. If it is possible, pack in portable luggage; it will be found a great comfort, for thereby many wearisome waiting hours are saved at foreign railway stations. A Gladstone bag, or one of the portable portmanteaus, holds almost all you require, with a travelling bag and wraps.
(b) For a rough travelling dress select a dark blue bège or thin serge, made with a short full plain skirt, and a rather long coat, shaped, but not tight fitting, so that, if required, a bodice could be worn underneath. For out-of-the-way travelling have the skirt put into a very deep band, to fit tightly over the hips, and the full gathers put into that; it will be found lighter, more becoming, and better for the appearance of both skirt and jacket. The band is of the same material. The bodice is made like a skirt, full and tolerably loose, with straight neckband and coat sleeves, over which are turned black lace, first tacked inside, turned over, and lightly tacked down. Have a scarf of the dark blue material, 2½ yds. long, and a little over ½ yd. wide, and use this to pass round the hips and loop behind over the skirt band when you stop for any length of time and have to take off your coat. This scarf gives at once a smart look to the otherwise plain skirt. It is also useful in passing round the neck in cold day or night travelling, and when not used rolls up into a small compass, and goes in the wraps. The dark blue coat and scarf look well over a stout holland plaited skirt (which is useful with a plaited bodice and band for hot days). A soft hat with prominent brim, and dark blue veil, should accompany the costume. Also have a thin tweed of some dark grey colour, either made in the same way, or with a plaited skirt, up to the hips, and a Norfolk jacket, with band or a coat or a polonaise. Always have pieces of black lace to tack into your travelling dress at throat and wrist, and take a white piece, for wearing at any smart place. If the band of the dress is high round the throat, no collar or lisse is necessary, only tack the lace inside, turn it over, and tack it again lightly to keep it down in place; the same at the wrists. Never take white petticoats for rough travelling; a striped coloured one is best. Take black lace neck scarf and gauze veils.
Lawn Tennis Dress.—Short costumes made with bibs, Marguerite sleeves (viz., slashed at the elbow and shoulders), and the tunic à la Laveuse, appear to be a good style of dress for lawn tennis. A white serge made thus, with red trimmings, is very effective; or a light fawn tone, trimmed with bands of forget-me-nots, embroidered on a darker shade; or a rough holland dress with no tunic, but made with a yoke, bands, and large pockets, like an artist’s blouse, embroidered in outline.
Dress for the Moors.—A thick homespun or tweed costume is the most serviceable for the moors. A leather petticoat is a comfort in bad weather. Doré has introduced a good costume for ladies who go in for sport, viz., gaiters and knickerbockers, buttoned at the knee, of the same stuff as the skirt, which is kilt plaited, and is capable of being made long or short. A long scarf can be easily arranged as a tunic, or be wrapped about the shoulders, and a jacket, waistcoat, and cap of the same stuff make it complete. An ulster with a cape and hood attached is comfortable, so is a Norfolk blouse. In Scotland, ladies wear in the daytime little else but these tailor-made suits. In the matter of boots, black leather Balmoral walking boots are best, with thick soles, and for bad weather, the gaiter boot, which comes half-way up the leg. Phipps and Barker, of Cadogan-house, Sloane Street, have brought out a water-tight Highland boot, to button or lace. The latter give support, are a good fit, and durable, keeping their shape well, and are light in weight—a great point where there is much walking. Marshall and Burt of Oxford Street, have besides a Balmoral boot with double or clump soles, some of porpoise hide, which will stand hard walking, and are excellent hygienic boots, preserving the foot in a natural position, with low heels and projecting soles.
Dress for Walking Tour.—Procure from Marshall and Burt, 192, Oxford Street, a pair of Hygeia boots, which keep the feet warm and dry, do not unduly press, and are not heavy. They are waterproof, and should be well greased from time to time. Wear light woollen stockings, well soaped, and a thin tweed dress, plain skirt, and Norfolk blouse, with an outer jacket when required and an all-round mackintosh; a felt hat, bound with corded ribbon, a rosette at the side; loose gauntlet gloves. The mackintosh should be accompanied by a tarpaulin cover for the hat. An umbrella stick is a comfort.