Advent Record—One dollar a line.
George W. Matsell was born in Brandon, England, and weighed 15 pounds at birth, and won the first premium at the Brandon Baby Show. Robert Dale Owen visited Brandon on the day after his birth, and gave him some sugar plums and a silver porringer.
Richard B. Connolly was born in Bandon, Ireland, (R., for Rogue, being the only difference between Matsell and Connolly’s birthplace), 20 miles west of Cork, and will leave with his parents for Independence Hall, Philadelphia, where he will be naturalized. Richard is a handsome and promising child, and opened his expressive eyes and sweetly smiled, and said Mum and Pap when two days old, when his astounded Mum dropped him into the lap of Bridget, and screamed and swooned and fell and rose with dishevelled hair and projected tongue and frothy mouth and distended nostrils and run into the neighbors, with Pap after her with gigantic strides. Three days after birth, little Dick said
Slippery-
Dicery,
Hickory-
Trickery,
when his confounded Mum scampered to the Fortune Teller, and Pap to the Physician for worm seed, and to the Nurse of the Infant Lunatic Asylum, for a strait-jacket for the little scamp, when the medicine and jacket soothed him into a gentle slumber, with Mum and Pap slowly expiring on his precocious lips.
And as he lay,
All the lone day,
In a cradle,
Like a stable,
in his starts and stitches and solliloquies, he often roared to Pap and Mum the words “County Clerk,” “Contractor,” “Silent Alms House Governor,” “Ex-officio Record Commissioner,” “Comptroller,” and inquired for Simeon Draper,
Whose clerk he would like to be,
In the land beyond the sea,
Called the Free America,
Where there’s “lots of trickery.”
Dickey may be a model Comptroller, unless he prematurely dies with proboscis paralysis.