Peter—I can’t trust any more to-day, as I have just let a woman have some candles, soap, and gin on credit, and I shall ruin myself if I trust so much as I have recently. My capital is very small, and my credit is so bad that I have to pay cash for nearly all I buy, and if I trust much, I shall have to fail again, and shut up my little shop for ever. So, Jim, I can’t trust you any more.
Jim—Then I will trade elsewhere. I have been drinking your rum for a long time, and I have always paid you for it, and I have got drunk many a time on your rum, and now you won’t let me have a glass on credit. You must have an iron heart.
Peter—Jim, you have drunk a large quantity of rum at my bar, and you have always paid me for it, as you declare, but I am going to turn over a new leaf, and trust no more. But if you will promise never to ask me to trust you again, I will let you have as nice a glass of rum as you ever drank.
Jim—Agreed.
Peter—(pours out some cheap and nasty rum, and squats down behind the counter so that Jim can’t see him, and adulterates it about two-thirds with old Manhattan water, that had been in the pitcher all day)—There’s your rum, Jim, and now drink it, and enjoy yourself.
Jim—(drinks, and can hardly taste the nasty rum, and makes wry faces,)—How much bilge water did you put in this mean rum, and how much do you intend to put down on the slate against me for this disgusting dose of rum and water?
Peter—That is nice rum, Jim, and I shall charge you my usual price of three cents a glass.
Jim—Take that, and that, and that, you stingy old villain. (Throws most of the rum and water into his face, and strikes him twice, and knocks him down, and runs down the Bowery.)
Peter (solus and nose bleeding profusely)—I fear the black rascal has broken my nose and ribs, and blackened my eyes badly. I will close the shop, and go and see a physician, and I suppose I shall have to run up quite a Doctor’s bill before my wounds are entirely healed. (Shuts the shop and goes to an Apothecary.)
Peter—Doctor, nigger Jim has just struck me several times with all his might, and I fear he has mutilated me for life. Just examine my nose and ribs, Doctor, and dress my nose and eyes as soon as possible, so that they will soon heal.