Mr. Kelly—Because he wanted him to lie.
Landlord—What a fool your son must be.
Mrs. Kelly—Don’t you call my son a fool, sir. God loved George Washington because he would not lie, and made him the Liberator of his country.
Landlord—That’s all gammon. Washington was an old Federalist, and an old knave and fool, and could swear and lie as hard as a delinquent tenant.
Mrs. Kelly (throws the tea pot, full of scalding water, at his head)—Take that, you miserable old tory and miser. (The landlord rushes upon Mrs. Kelly, when Mr. Kelly, forgetting his rheumatic leg, flies at him like a tiger, and while they grapple, and level their deadly blows, with Mrs. Kelly pouring hot water down the neck and back of the landlord—in comes John, and his young fireman friend, who both seize the landlord, and hurl him down stairs, and kick him into the street, amid the frantic yells of all the neighbors. John then introduces the young New York Fireman to his father and mother, who receive him with courtesy and fervor.)
(To be continued.)
Fools.
Bennett and Hudson (through their influence with the wholesale news dealers,) supposed they could check the circulation of the “Alligator,” among the honest masses, who have been kicked and cuffed and sold by the Bennett’s, and Greeley’s, and Raymond’s, since the immortal Pudding Dinner of Benjamin Franklin, to the wicked aristocracy and tories of Philadelphia, who threatened to crush Franklin’s bold and independent Journal, but who got egregiously mistaken. Stop my “Alligator!” Eh? You could as easily dam the thundering torrents of Niagara, that have sublimely rolled into their rocky beds for unnumbered ages. Withhold my “Alligator” from the glad embraces of the intelligent and industrial classes! Eh? First strive to roll back the Father of Waters to its sources in the mountain wilderness, or beat back the God of Day, or stop the Revolutions of the Globe! Stop my “Alligator!” Eh? Fools, fools, fools!