P.—I begin to think my memory is getting bad, for I once could spell all these words. And I have had so many contracts from the Corporation, and have written that word so often, that I am sure I used to spell it correctly. Now give me one more easy word, and if I break down, dam if I don’t surrender.
S.—Spell Cable?
P.—I have got a few shares in that precious stock, and I’ll bet $5 I can spell it correctly.
S.—Done.
P.—Kabell.
S.—No. It is spelt cable.
P.—There’s a V. And now, although I have spelt several words incorrectly, yet, as I am growing old, I desire to learn as fast as possible; and I want you to give me grammar lessons and teach me spelling at the same time. And if you will learn me very fast, I will let you have one share in the Atlantic Cable, for your instructions.
S.—I would rather have the cash, as I cannot believe that a cord about the circumference of my thumb can permanently connect the hemispheres.
P.—Very well, sir. I have perfect confidence in the Cable enterprise, and I don’t care about parting with my stock. So I will pay you in cash for your tuition. Now please give me a lesson in grammar.
S.—Well, I will strive to gratify you,—although I again assure you, that orthography is the basis of grammar, and we shall encounter ruinous obstacles in the construction of the grammatical pyramid, in the absence of orthography and orthœpy.