Mr. O’Connor sat; and, after wiping his forehead, laid his hat upon the lap-board, put his half-handkerchief in his pocket, and looked upon the tailor. The tailor, in return, looked upon Mr. O’Connor; but neither of them spoke for some minutes. Neal, in fact, appeared to be wrapped up in his own misery, and Mr. O’Connor in his; or, as we often have much gratuitous sympathy for the distresses of our friends, we question but the tailor was wrapped up in Mr. O’Connor’s misery, and Mr. O’Connor in the tailor’s.
Mr. O’Connor at length said: “Neal, are my inexpressibles finished?”
“I am now pressin’ your inexpressibles,” replied Neal; “but, be my sowl, Mr. O’Connor, it’s not your inexpressibles I’m thinkin’ of. I’m not the ninth part o’ what I was. I’d hardly make paddin’ for a collar now.”
“Are you able to carry a staff still, Neal?”
“I’ve a light hazel one that’s handy,” said the tailor, “but where’s the use o’ carryin’ it whin I can get no one to fight wid? Sure, I’m disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’. I’ll go to my grave widout ever batin’ a man or bein’ bate myself; that’s the vexation. Divil the row ever I was able to kick up in my life; so that I’m fairly blue-mowlded for want of a batin’. But if you have patience—”
“Patience!” said Mr. O’Connor, with a shake of the head that was perfectly disastrous even to look at,—“patience, did you say, Neal?”
“Ay,” said Neal, “an’ be my sowl, if you deny that I said patience I’ll break your head!”
“Ah, Neal,” returned the other, “I don’t deny it; for, though I’m teaching philosophy, knowledge, and mathematics every day in my life, yet I’m learning patience myself both night and day. No, Neal; I have forgotten to deny anything. I have not been guilty of a contradiction, out of my own school, for the last fourteen years. I once expressed the shadow of a doubt about twelve years ago, but ever since I have abandoned even doubting. That doubt was the last expiring effort at maintaining my domestic authority—but I suffered for it.”
“Well,” said Neal, “if you have patience, I’ll tell you what afflicts me from beginnin’ to endin’.”
“I will have patience,” said Mr. O’Connor; and he accordingly heard a dismal and indignant tale from the tailor.