"Tare an ouns, how do I know what that is?"
"Silence, Darby Kelleher, and attend to me: that's a magical ointment, which I will show you how to make; and whenever you want gold, all you have to do is to rub a little of it on the point of a pickaxe or your spade, and dig wherever you please, and you will be sure to find treasure."
"O, think o' that! faix, an' I'll make plenty of it, when you show me. How is it made?"
"You must go into the town, Darby, and get me three things, and fold them three times in three rags torn out of the left side of a petticoat that has not known water for a year."
"Faith, I can do that much, anyhow," said Oonah, who began tearing the prescribed pieces out of her undergarment.
"And what three things am I to get you?"
"First bring me a grain of salt from a house that stands at cross-roads."
"Crass roads!" said Darby, looking significantly at Oonah. "By my sowl, but it's my dhrame's comin' out!"
"Silence, Darby Kelleher," said the doctor with great solemnity; "mark me, Darby Kelleher." And then he proceeded to repeat a parcel of gibberish to Darby, which he enjoined him to remember, and repeat again; but as Darby could not, the doctor said he should only write it down for him, and, tearing a leaf from his pocket-book, he wrote in pencil a few words, stating the condition he was in, and requesting assistance. This slip of paper he desired Darby to deliver to the apothecary in the town, who would give him a drug that would complete the making of the ointment.
Darby went to the apothecary's as he was desired, and it happened to be dinner-time when he arrived. The apothecary had a few friends dining with him, and Darby was detained until they chose to leave the table, and go, in a body, to liberate the poor little doctor. He was pulled out of the chest amidst the laughter of his liberators and the fury of Darby and Oonah, who both made considerable fight against being robbed of their prize. At last the doctor's friends got him out of the house, and proceeded to the town to supper, where the whole party kept getting magnificently drunk, until sleep plunged them into dizzy dreams of Leprechauns and Fairy-Finders.