"'But how about them there tails?' I sez—
'On shore them will niver doo;'
She sez, 'Yer silly, why, karn't yer see,
They're only fixed on wi' a screw?'
"So I tells her as how I'll go fetch the old ship
Wile she's a-unscreuing of her tails;
But when I gets back to the Crazy Jane
I finds there a couple of wales.
"I jist had time to see the biggest of the two
A-swallerin' of the ship right whole,
And in one more momint he swallered me too,
As true as I'm a livin' sole.
"But when he got to the surfis of the sea,
A summat disagreed with that wale,
And he up with me and the Crazy Jane and all—
And this 'ere's the end of my tail."
* * * * *
Then this old ainshunt mariner, he sez unto me—
And 'onesty was shinin' in hiz eyes—
"It's jist the sort o' story wot no one won't beleeve—
But it's true, little nipper, if I dies,"
THE AMATEUR ORLANDO.
BY GEORGE T. LANIGAN.
It was an Amateur Dram. Ass.,
(Kind hearer, although your
Knowledge of French is not first-class,
Don't call that Amature.)
It was an Amateur Dram. Ass.,
The which did warfare wage
On the dramatic works of this
And every other age.
It had a walking gentleman,
A leading juvenile,
First lady in book-muslin dressed.
With a galvanic smile;
Thereto a singing chambermaid,
Benignant heavy pa,
And oh, heavier still was the heavier vill-
Ain, with his fierce "Ha! Ha!"