A good old Methodist, obliged to remain in the city over Sunday, started out to attend service in one of the churches of his own faith; but losing his way, and seeing an open church door just across the street, he entered there, not knowing to what creed the congregation held. As the service progressed, his religious emotions waxed warmer and warmer, until he finally gave vent to them by shouting out, "Praise God!"
Immediately one of the ushers tapped him on the shoulder, saying, "You can't do that in this church, sir."
NOT POSSIBLE
The day was warm, the children restless, the teacher impatient. One curly-haired boy was moving his jaws faster with chewing-gum than his brain had ever been known to work. His feet were in the aisle. A smile was on the face of more than one pupil when the teacher said:
"Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in."
ALL HIS WEALTH
It was at a fashionable wedding in Savannah. The bridegroom had no visible means of support save his father, who was rich; but when he repeated that portion of the service he said boldly:
"'With all my worldly goods I thee endow!'"
Whereupon the father said in a stage whisper that could be heard all over the church:
"Heavens! There goes his bicycle!"