A little girl asked her mother if there were any men in heaven.
"Mamma," she said, "I never saw a picture of an angel with a beard or a mustache. Do men ever go to heaven?"
"Oh! yes," replied her mother, "men go to heaven, but it's always by a close shave."
TOO MUCH LIKE HOME
Three men determined to rob a certain house. So, on the night chosen for the deed, they gathered in front of the building. One of them entered and started up-stairs. He had his boots on and, when near the landing, they squeaked. A female voice was heard in one of the rooms.
"You go right down-stairs and take those boots off. I'm tired of having to clean up mud and dirt after you. March right down and take them off."
The burglar turned about, went down the steps, and joining his companions, said:
"Boys, I couldn't rob that house, it seems too much like home."
A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR
It happened on an inauguration day in Washington and a member of a governor's staff was, for the first time, arrayed in his full uniform. When he arrived at the Capitol, he remembered having left something at his boarding-house and turned back after it. The landlady's small daughter answered the bell. She did not recognize the lodger in his showy and magnificent dress.