PROOF OF ACCIDENT
The lady of the house was congratulating herself on obtaining a very good cook--the only trouble was her carelessness.
One day hearing a dish fall and break, and the cook's remark, "Hup, there she goes!" she called her, and said:
"Can't you be more careful? You seem to enjoy breaking dishes."
"Indade," replied the cook consolingly, "'tis only cheap chinyware you use; shure, there's no pleasure in breakin' thot koind."
A POWERFUL POISON
A certain high school teacher amused his students the other day during a lecture on chemistry by relating a story about an old German professor who, in narrating the fact that cyanide of potassium was a very deadly poison, went so far as to say that "one drop of this stuff placed on the tongue of a rabbit would kill the strongest man!"
WHY HE LAUGHED
On one occasion, Dan Leno, the London comedian, had appeared at a house in Park Lane, and given his best entertainment. The languor of his listeners made him feel not too happy, and he was glad to retire to the dressing-room allotted him. While he was removing the paint a very young peer, who had strolled after him, told Leno in the most approved drawl that some of his sayings had really been rather funny.
"Especially that one, you know, where your wife made a pancake on a gridiron and the pancake slipped through and put the fire out. That made me laugh awfully, because I know what a gridiron is. I have seen one."