"Mr. Stevens, are you trying to express your contempt for the court?"
"No, your honor," Stevens replied, "I am trying to conceal it."
THE PHYSICIAN'S FEE
A very eminent physician had cured a little girl of a dangerous illness. "Doctor," said the mother, "I really don't know how to express my gratitude, but thought perhaps you would be so kind as to accept this purse embroidered by my own hands."
"Madam," replied the doctor coldly, "small presents serve to sustain friendships; but they don't sustain our families. A physician's visits should be rewarded in money."
"But, doctor," said the lady alarmed and wounded, "speak, tell me the fee."
"Two hundred dollars, madam."
The lady opened the embroidered purse, took out five bank notes of one hundred dollars each, gave two to the doctor, put the remaining three back in the purse, bowed coldly and departed.
TWO TO ONE
Seated in a crowded traction car some time since was a very-stout woman who weighed about three hundred pounds, and beside her, squeezing into a space about three inches broad, was a messenger boy--one of those very small abused-looking boys.