SELF-SACRIFICE
The friends of a certain merchant had been interested for several months in a house which he had been building in the suburbs. It was a modern dwelling the exterior of which was attractive, but few had yet seen the interior. One morning friend met the merchant on a trolley car.
"So your house is built at last?" said the friend.
"Yes."
"But I thought the plans didn't suit you?"
"Oh, they don't," came the reply; "but they suit my wife, the architect, and the cook."
PRE-NUPTIAL CONFIDENCES
She was an exacting young woman and before she would promise to marry him, he had to answer a great many questions relating to his past life. He thought he had given her a very fair account of himself, but, just when the wedding ceremony was about to take place, he remembered an omission and, fearing that she might have cause for future reproach, he whispered in her ear:
"Mary, there is one thing I have not told you yet. I am a Universalist. Does it matter, love?"
"No, I guess not, dear," said the bride serenely, "I am a somnambulist."