"Ne'er a one. Can't you spare me one of yours?"
"No. What I have, I wouldn't take a million dollars apiece for; and," he added reflectively, "I wouldn't give five cents for another."
STRATEGICAL
General Joe Wheeler tells a story of an Irishman who presented himself for cavalry duty at the recruiting station at Selma, Alabama, at the outbreak of the Civil War. He was very enthusiastic but very raw and gave the fencing master a great deal of trouble. He began to improve, however, after the eighth or ninth lesson and his instructor, upon obtaining a few satisfactory replies as to thrusts, parries, etc., asked, "Now, Pat, what would you do were your opponent to feint?"
"Faint, is it?" came from the recruit. "Why, shure and Oi'd tickle him wid me sword to see if he was shammin'."
NO CAUSE FOR ANXIETY
"I wish, Susan," said a fond mother to her new nursemaid, "that you would use a thermometer to ascertain if the water is the right temperature when you give the baby his bath."
"Oh," replied Susan cheerfully, "don't you worry about that. I don't need any thermometer. If the little 'un turns red the water is too hot, if he turns blue, it's too cold and there you are."
HIS FUTURE STATE
A young city girl, teaching school for a session in the country, was struggling with the reading lesson. She wrote the word man on the blackboard and asked a boy of six how the word was pronounced. The young hopeful said he did not know.