"Well, Bobbie," said a kindly old gentleman to a little friend of his, aged five, "what's new up at your house?"
"Nothin' much 'cept I've got a new baby brother."
"You don't mean it! Well, I suppose you're very fond of him?"
"Nope; he's no good--yells all the time."
"Why don't you send him back?"
"Can't; we've used him four days already."
THE SOFT ANSWER
A clergyman visiting the house of one of his parishioners caught a young lady of the house in the act of curling her hair with a curling iron. He exclaimed, "My dear young lady, if God intended your hair to be curly He would curl it Himself."
"He did curl it when I was little," she replied, "but I am now grown up. He thinks I can take care of it myself."
CAME DOWN HARD