"Honor bright, now, Bill, you did steal that horse, didn't you?"
"Now look a here, judge," was the reply, "I allers did think I stole that horse, but since I heard your speech to that 'ere jury, I'll be doggoned if I ain't got my doubts about it."
NO HESITATION
A burly, broad-shouldered man passed through the gates at the Central station a few days ago and hurried with his two solid-looking suit cases toward a Pullman porter who stood stiffly and erect beside the steps of a parlor car attached to the train. The passenger who was long on suit cases but short on breath asked the proud-looking porter:
"Does this train stop at Rahway?"
"No, sah," replied the negro in a superior manner. "This train do not stop at Rahway, sah, it do not even hesitate at Rahway." BARBARIC
An elderly Quaker gentleman, riding a carriage with a fashionable girl decked with a profusion of jewelry, heard her complaining of the cold. Shivering, in her lace gown and shawl as light as a cobweb, she exclaimed: "What shall I do to get warm?"
"I really don't know," replied the Quaker solemnly, "unless thee should put on another breastpin."
ABSENCE OF MIND
A devout and religious man is the clergyman of a parish not twenty miles south of Chicago. His congregation was somewhat amused at the singularity of one of his announcements one evening recently, which was as follows: