NOT WORTH THE PRICE
At a club in Washington one evening a justice of the Supreme Court was introduced to a well-known New York business man who is given to boasting of the large income he enjoys.
With the apparent purpose of impressing those about him, the New Yorker remarked that, as nearly as he could tell, his income exceeded $100,000. "I must make as much as that," said he. "Why it costs me $80,000 a year to live."
"Dear me," remarked the justice blandly. "Really, that's too much! I wouldn't pay it--it isn't worth it!"
THE BAD BOY IN THE BACK SEAT
A teacher in one of the schools near Philadelphia had one day been so much disturbed by the buzzing of lips and shuffling of feet of the children that she was on the verge of distraction. Finally she said, "Children, I cannot stand so much noise. Please be quiet for a little while, at least. Let me see if you can't be so still that you could hear a pin drop."
Instantly every child became as still as a mouse, and the solemnity continued until a little boy in a back seat piped out, with marked impatience:
"Well, let her drop!"
NATURE NO RESPECTER OF DAYS
There is an excellent old lady, a strong advocate of the enforcement of the Blue Laws, who is very fond of the good things of the table, and for this reason she does her own marketing. One Monday morning found her, bright and early, selecting some fine pears from her marketman.