"It's the most vicious of anything we keep, sir," calmly replied the clerk.
HOW TO SAVE GAS BILLS
A city merchant who has a passion for reading out-of-town newspapers and also for answering many of the advertisements he finds in them tells this on himself:
The other day he answered an advertisement in one of the New York papers stating that for one dollar a method for saving gas bills would be sent. In two days he received a printed slip by mail which read: "Paste them in a scrap-book."
A DIFFERENCE OF WORDING
A reader at the Free Library was much offended at what was considered the incompetency of the librarian of whom she demanded a book called "Wait a Minute." The assistant protested she had never heard of the volume, but the inquirer insisted that a friend had read the book and had returned it only the day before. A thorough search of the catalogue failed to reveal the title recorded so the unhappy reader had to depart without it. Later in the day, she returned and apologized, saying the book she wished was entitled "Tarry Thou Till I Come."
THE MEANEST MAN
The following is a conversation overheard between two small boys in a city street not long ago. The first boy said to the second boy:
"Gee, your father must be dreadful mean; he's a shoemaker and you have to wear them old shoes."
The second boy answered, "You needn't talk; your father is mean, too, 'cause he is a dentist and your baby's only got one tooth."