SORRY FOR THE QUEEN
An English professor wrote on the blackboard in his laboratory:
"Professor Wilson informs his students that he has this day been appointed honorary physician to her Majesty, Queen Victoria."
In the morning he had occasion to leave the room, and found on his return that some student-wag had added to the announcement the words:
"God save the Queen."
FAMILIES SUPPLIED
Auntie (to her young niece): Guess what I know, Mary. There's a little baby brother up-stairs! He came this morning when you were asleep.
Mary: Did he? Then I know who brought him. It was the milkman.
Auntie: What do you mean, Mary?
Mary: Why, I looked at the sign on his cart yesterday, and it said, "Families supplied daily."