"I don't know, boss," the sick man answered feebly, "I hain't missed anything but my watch as yit."
A NEW LEAF IN THE BOOK
A New York man recently gained a Missouri girl for his bride by the elopement method. The girl was somewhat romantic, and when the ceremony had been performed and the telegram sent apprising her parents of what had taken place, she looked soulfully up into the eyes of her husband and said, "Dear, we have added a leaf to our book of life to-day, haven't we?"
"Yes," replied the happy groom, "I guess it must be the fly-leaf."
A POWERFUL REMEDY
One day, while running a fox, Major ---- was violently thrown and rendered insensible. Until a doctor could be procured, his old colored servant was asked to care for him. When the doctor arrived, he found the major quietly smoking on his veranda, and was curious to know what medicine had effected such miraculous results. Uncle John, being questioned, explained his mode of treatment as follows:
"Massa bus' his insides an' I give him allum an' rozum."
"What for?" asked the astonished physician.
"De allum to draw de parts togidder an' de rozum to sodder dem."
DAMAGES ENOUGH