There was a darky in southern Tennessee named Eph. Friday, who died a short time ago. Eph. was neither a member of a church nor of a lodge and thus had no one to deliver an address or prayer at his burial. At last an old uncle consented to say a few remarks for the departed soul. As the coffin was being lowered into the grave the old uncle said to the assembled mourners:
"Eph. Friday, we trusts you hab gone to de place whar we spects you ain't."
FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS
An army officer, in his expense list on Government service, put down:
"Porter, ten cents."
The officer was requested to report to the War Office, where he was told:
"While executing public duty refreshments are not chargeable to the nation."
"The item does not represent refreshments," replied the officer, "but a fee to a carrier."
"You should have said 'porterage,'" was then explained to him.
When the officer had occasion to take a hansom, remembering instructions, he wrote in his accounts: