The following lines were found in a Confederate soldier's note-book, on the camping-ground near Breckenridge's head-quarters, before Washington, July 17, 1864:—
Quoth Meade to Lee—
Can you tell me,
In the shortest style of writing,
When people will
Get their fill
Of this big job of fighting?
Quoth Lee to Meade—
Why, yes, indeed,
I'll tell you in a minute:
When legislators
And speculators
Are made to enter in it.
ADOPTING THE OTHER COURSE.—497.
The following advertisement appears in a California paper:—"Wanted, by a blackguard, employment of any kind, temporary or otherwise. The advertiser having hitherto conducted himself as a gentleman, and signally failed, of which his hopeless state of impecuniosity is the best proof, is induced to adopt the other course, in the hope that he may meet with better success. No objection to up country. Terms moderate."
A WHALE AT PEAS.—498.
The dinner was a capital one, and Judge Tips played an excellent knife and fork. A dish of peas came round, the last of the marrowfats; the latest peas of summer. I am very fond of peas, and was rejoiced to see my favourites once again; and I anxiously awaited their arrival. Miss Tips, Miss Julia Tips, and Tips mère, as the French would say, had each taken a decorous spoonful from the flying dish, and now the black waiter was offering the delicacy to Tips himself, enough being left for five persons, at least. What was my horror to behold the judge deliberately monopolize the whole—sweep, as I live, every pea into his own plate—and then turning to me, with a greasy smile, remark: "I guess, stranger, I'm a whale at peas."
A TEARFUL RESPONSE.—499.
"Does the razor take hold well?" inquired a barber, who was shaving a gentleman from the country. "Yes," replied the customer, with tears in his eyes, "it takes hold first-rate, but it don't let go very easily."