A "DISTANT" FRIEND.—529.
Meeting a negro on the road, a traveller said: "You have lost some of your friends, I see?" "Yes, massa." "Was it a near or distant relative?" "Well, purty distant—'bout twenty-four mile," was the reply.
JONATHAN OF ALL TRADES.—530.
The editor of the Boston Daily Star, in relinquishing his charge, gave the following notice:—"Any one wishing corn hoed, gardens weeded, wood sawed, coal pitched in, paragraphs written, or small jobs done with despatch, and on reasonable terms, will please make immediate application to the retiring editor."
MUCH VIRTUE IN AN "IF."—531.
"If you can only get kit rid of them little failings" (blindness and deafness), said one Yankee to another, "you'll find him all sorts of a horse."
THE SCHOOLMASTER ABROAD.—532.
A Californian gold-digger, having become rich, desired a friend to procure for him a library of books. The friend obeyed, and received a letter of thanks thus worded:—"I am obliged to you for the pains of your selection. I particularly admire a grand religious poem about Paradise, by a Mr. Milton, and a set of plays (quite delightful) by a Mr. Shakespeare. If these gentlemen should write and publish anything more, be sure and send me their new works."