A MILD ASSERTION.—592.
This is to certify that I have always been bald, and have used up a barrel of common hair-dye. I accidentally heard of your Invigorator, and purchased a bottle, and carried it home in my overcoat pocket. The pocket was full of hair when I got home! I took the bottle and held it in the sun, when the shadow fell on my head. A thick head of chestnut-coloured hair grew out in thirty minutes by the watch, all curled and perfumed. Send me twenty bottles by return mail.
FRIENDLY NOTICE.—593.
The editor of the Florence Inquirer gives the following notice to one of his friends—"The gentleman who took out of our library the number of Graham's Magazine, is respectfully invited to call again in about two weeks and get the number for August."
TIPPING THEM LATIN.—594.
Andrew Jackson was once making a stump speech out West in a small village. Just as he was concluding amen, Kendall, who sat behind him, whispered, "Tip 'em a little Latin, General; they won't be content without it." The man of iron instantly thought upon a few phrases he knew, and in a voice of thunder he wound up his speech by exclaiming—"E pluribus unum—sine qua non—ne plus ultra—multum in parvo." The effect was tremendous, and the Hoosier's shouts could be heard for miles.
A SOLID REASON.—595.
A distinguished Southern gentleman, dining at a New York hotel, was annoyed at a negro servant continually waiting upon him, and desired him one day at dinner to retire. "Excuse me, Sir," said Cuffy, drawing himself up, "but I'se 'sponsible for de silver."