A clergyman travelling in California encountered a panther, of which he subsequently wrote as follows: "I looked at him long enough to note his brown and glossy coat, his big, glaring eyes, his broad and well-developed muzzle, and his capacious jaws, when both of us left the spot, and, I am pleased to add, in opposite directions."
HOW TO DO BUSINESS.—270.
It is told of a well-known American map-agent out here, that on a recent trip in the interior of the island, he was attacked by highway robbers, who demanded his money. Being more prudent than to carry money into the country, they failed in making a haul. "But," said our Yankee, "I have some splendid maps of the island along with me, which I should like to show you;" and in a twinkling he was off his horse, and a map stuck up on a pole, and explained it so effectually that he sold each of the banditti a map, pocketed the money, and resumed his journey, better off for the encounter.
EXEMPT, DECIDEDLY.—271.
"Ugh! How do you make out that you are exempt, eh?" "I am over age, I am a negro, a minister, a cripple, a British subject, and a habitual drunkard."
A LONE NIGGER.—272.
During the last winter a "contraband" came into the Federal lines in North Carolina, and was marched up to the officer of the day to give an account of himself, whereupon the following colloquy ensued: "What's your name?" "My name's Sam." "Sam what?" "No, sah; not Sam Watt. I'se jist Sam." "What's your other name?" "I hasn't got no oder name, sah. I'se Sam—dat's all." "What's your master's name?" "I'se got no massa now. Massa runned away—yah, yah! I'se free nigger now." "Well, what's your father and mother's name?" "I'se got none, sah—neber had none. I'se jist Sam—ain't nobody else." "Haven't you any brothers and sisters?" "No, sah; neber had none. No brudder, no sister, no fader, no mudder, no massa—nothin' but Sam. When you see Sam you see all dere is of us."
A LIBELLOUS ASSERTION.—273.
Ask a woman to a tea-party in the Garden of Eden, and she'd be sure to draw up her eyelids and scream: "I can't go without a new gown."