FINE WRITING.—312.
We like fine writing when it is properly applied, so we appreciate the following burst of eloquence:—"As the ostrich uses both legs and wings when the American courser bounds in her rear—as the winged lightnings leap from the heavens when the thunderbolts are loosed—so does a little boy run when a big dog is after him."
"MAILS" AND FEMALES.—313.
A New England postmaster complains that too much courting goes on in his office. The females give him more trouble than the "mails."
AN UNKIND REMINDER.—314.
A negro boy was driving a mule, when the animal suddenly stopped short and refused to move. "Won't go, eh?" said the boy; "feel grand, do you? I s'pose you forget your fader was a jackass."
"CLIMACTERIC SUBLIMITY."—315.
The following peroration to an eloquent harangue, addressed to a jury by a lawyer in Ohio, is a rare specimen of climacteric sublimity:—"And now the shades of night had shrouded the earth in darkness. All nature lay wrapped in solemn thought, when these defendant ruffians came rushing like a mighty torrent from the hills, down upon the abodes of peace, broke open the plaintiff's door, separated the weeping mother from her crying infant, and took away—my client's rifle, gentlemen of the jury, for which we claim fifteen dollars."
MORE LAUGHABLE THAN LOGICAL.—316.
A temperance lecturer, in addressing an audience in Boston, said, "Parents, you have children, or, if you have not, your daughters may have."