Story of the Wry-mouthed Schoolmaster.
I also, O sultan, was a schoolmaster; and so strict with my pupils, that I allowed them no indulgence, but even kept them to their studies frequently after the usual hours. At length, one more cunning than the rest resolved, in revenge, to play me a trick. He instructed the lads as they came into school to say to me, "Dear master, how pale you look!" Not feeling myself ill, I, though surprised at their remarks, did not much regard them on the first day; but a second, and so on to a fifth passing, on each of which all the pupils on entrance uttered the same exclamation, I began to think some fatal disorder had seized me, and resolved, by way of prevention, to take physic. I did so the following morning, and remained in my wife's apartments; upon which the unlucky lads, clubbing their pittances together to the amount of about a hundred faloose, requested my acceptance of the money as an offering for my recovery; and I was so pleased with the present that I gave them a holiday. The receipt of cash in so easy a manner was so agreeable to me, that I feigned illness for some days; my pupils made an offering as usual, and were allowed to play. On the tenth day the cunning urchin who had planned the scheme came into my chamber, as customary, with an offering of faloose. I happened then to have before me a boiled egg, which, upon seeing him enter, I clapped into my mouth, supposing, that if he perceived me well enough to eat he might not give me the money. He, however, observed the trick, and coming up to me with affected condolence, exclaimed, "Dear master, how your cheeks are swelled!" at the same time pressing his hands upon my face. The egg was boiling hot, and gave me intolerable pain, while the young wit pretended compassionately to stroke my visage. At length, he pressed my jaws together so hard that the egg broke, when the scalding yolk ran down my throat, and over my beard: upon which the artful lad cried out in seeming joy, "God be praised, my dear master, that the dreadful imposthume has discharged itself; we, your pupils, will all return thanks for your happy recovery." My mouth was contracted by the scald in the manner you behold, and I became so ridiculed for my folly, that I was obliged to shut up my school.
The sultan having heard the other man's story, which was of but little interest, dismissed the three foolish schoolmasters with a present, commanded the vizier to go and recognize the house of the three ladies and their mother, it being his intention to visit them again in disguise and hear their adventures. The vizier hastened to the street, but to his surprise and mortification found all the houses marked in the same manner, for the youngest sister having overheard the sultan's instructions, had done this to prevent a discovery of their residence. The vizier returned to the sultan, and informed him of the trick which had been played. He was much vexed, but the circumstance excited his curiosity in a greater degree. At length the vizier bethought himself of a stratagem, and said, "My lord, let a proclamation be issued for four days successively throughout the city, that whoever presumes after the first watch of the night to have a lamp lighted in his house, shall have his head struck off, his goods confiscated, his house razed to the ground, and his women dishonoured. It is possible, as these ladies did not regard your proclamation at the nuptials of the princess, they may disobey this, and by that means we may discover their residence."
The sultan approved the contrivance of the vizier, caused the proclamation to be made, and waited impatiently for the fourth night, when he and his minister having disguised themselves as before, proceeded to the street in which the ladies lived. A light appeared only in one house, which it being now tolerably certain was that they were in quest of, they knocked at the door.
Immediately on their knocking the youngest sister called out, "Who is at the door?" and they replied, "We are dervishes, and entreat to be your guests." She exclaimed, "What can you want at such a late hour, and where did you lodge last night?" They answered, "Our quarters are at a certain serai, but we have lost our way, and are fearful of being apprehended by the officers of police. Let your kindness then induce you to open the door, and afford us shelter for the remainder of the night: it will be a meritorious act in the eye of heaven." The mother overhearing what was said, ordered the door to be opened.
When they were admitted, the old lady and her daughters rose up, received them respectfully, and having seated them, placed refreshments before them, of which they partook, and were delighted with their treatment. At length the sultan said, "Daughters, you cannot but know of the royal proclamation; how comes it that you alone of all the inhabitants of the city have disobeyed it by having lights in your house after the first watch of the night?" Upon this the youngest sister replied, "Good dervish, even the sultan should not be obeyed but in his reasonable commands, and as this proclamation against lighting our lamps is tyrannical, it ought not to be complied with, consistently with the law of scripture; for the Koraun says, 'Obedience to a creature in a criminal matter, is a sin against the Creator.' The sultan (may God pardon him!) acts against scripture, and obeys the dictates of Satan. We three sisters, with our good mother, make it a rule to spin every night a certain quantity of cotton, which in the morning we dispose of, and of the price of our labour we lay out a part in provisions, and the remainder in a new supply of materials for working to procure us a subsistence."
The sultan now whispered to his vizier, saying, "This damsel astonishes me by her answers; endeavour to think of some question that may perplex her." "My lord," replied the vizier, "we are here in the characters of strangers and dervishes as their guests: how then can we presume to disturb them by improper questions?" The sultan still insisted upon his addressing them: upon which, the vizier said to the ladies, "Obedience to the sultan's orders is incumbent upon all subjects." "It is true he is our sovereign," exclaimed the youngest sister, "but how can he know whether we are starving or in affluence?" "Suppose," replied the vizier, "he should send for you to the presence, and question you concerning your disobedience to his commands, what could you advance in excuse for yourselves?" "I would say to the sultan," rejoined she, "'Your majesty has acted in contradiction to the divine law.'"
The vizier upon this turned towards the sultan, and said in a whisper, "Let us leave off disputing further with this lady on points of law or conscience, and inquire if she understands the fine arts." The sultan put the question; upon which she replied, "I am perfect in all:" and he then requested her to play and sing. She retired immediately, but soon returning with a lute, sat down, tuned it, and played in a plaintive strain, which she accompanied with the following verses:
"It is praiseworthy in subjects to obey their sovereigns, but his reign will continue long who gains their affections by kindness. Be liberal in thy manners, and he who is dependent upon thee will pray for thy life, for the free man alone can feel gratitude. To him who confers gifts man will ever resort, for bounty is fascinating. Sadden not with denial the countenance of the man of genius, for the liberal mind is disgusted at stinginess and haughty demeanour. Not a tenth part of mankind understand what is right, for human nature is ignorant, rebellious, and ungrateful."
When the sultan had heard these verses, he remained for some time immersed in thought; then whispering his vizier, said, "This quotation was certainly meant in allusion to ourselves, and I am convinced they must know that I am their sultan, and thou vizier, for the whole tenor of their conversation shews their knowledge of us." He then addressed the lady, saying, "Your music, your performance, your voice, and the subject of your stanzas have delighted me beyond expression." Upon this she sang the following verse: